Thursday, June 25, 2015

The rice ring relationship fallacy-by brandon miller 6/262015

noooooooo..how will he pay for the children's braces and School...That ring IS who he is.. That ring IS the man. ..That ring is how he thinks. How he makes money. How he takes care of things. How much he values his fiance. Things don't get better after marriage... THIS is your man's BEST. If he can't get a decent ring, how is he going to buy a house, 2 cars, and put food on the table ? ? ? ? That ring IS what kind of person he is. It shows he's willing to make an effort for 
what he cares about, who he cares about, and is not lazy. he is going to have to do a lot more than that to make a commitment to the care and future of a growing family..He is going to need to learn how to budget and plan his finances....and even if you don't have children, ...Marriage is for men and women, not boys and girls. It's the ultimate responsibility. .Where will you live ? How will you re-shingle the roof, restore the plumbing, keep the house freshly painted ? It's not just about romance, Although that's important, too 
smile emoticonEducation is important, too, there are a lot of opportunities, to get higher education, and both the guy and gal are worth it, they deserve it. Even if you are already a good business person it is good to get more education. It is good to have long and short term goals, as well as being able to live in the moment. heart emoticon Love yourself ! and love each other. and look out beyond the microcosm of your lives to see who else needs encouragement. And ladies, there's nothing stopping you from getting your education, and a good job, nothing stopping you from learning how to budget and have financial goals, nothing is stopping you from leaning about real estate and how to buy your own home. and your dream car for yourself. smile emoticon
.
Like · Comment ·
  • Theresa Zwart-Ludeman Interesting comment Debra.
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · 12 hrs
  • Debra Elliott ...Dear Theresa Zwart-Ludeman....and all my friends.......lol if anyone is offended, sorry,.. please let me know heart emoticon I put myself through college, I bought my house and my dream car, and volunteered at the soup kitchen, and taught dance for free to the Community Children...I live by my words
    Like · Reply · 12 hrs · Edited
  • Theresa Zwart-Ludeman This ring is just a wee bit too small. But humble beginnings need to start somewhere. I use to collect late 20th century engagement rings and bands. Humble indeed for ordinary folks.
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · 12 hrs · Edited
  • Neil Key So if they guy spends thousands on credit to get a bigger ring how many women will ask how he paid for it? I would think the concern of the man being a potential provider would be addressed before the ring goes on the finger. Lives are built and don't come ready made. That small ring can be a promise of the next 30, 40, 50 years of companionship. How much is that worth? 

    https://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=JCJtOynxXK0


    Give Regular Guys A Chance At Love
    Ask Judge Lynn: Nice guys finish last in the...
    YOUTUBE.COM
    Unlike · Reply · Remove Preview · 1 · 12 hrs
  • Wikolia Sgro-Konopka I never got a ring or a wedding g and I woukd do it all over the same way. We had nothing g when we got married and have built a wonderful life together. I am in love more today then the day I met gim. He is the most loyal, supportive guy I know. I am so lucky. I went to school, I worked my ass off, had 2 businesses myself! I would give up every last thing to just be with him.
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · 11 hrs
  • Debra Elliott Wonderful comments ! Thank you, all heart emoticon
    Like · Reply · 1 · 11 hrs
  • Debra Elliott ...Dear Neil Key, Just for the sake of debate, smile emoticon if the man can't afford a couple of thousand for a ring, how is he going to afford a house , for 50,000 or more ...even if he stays single... is he going to live with his parents all his life ? Is he ...See More
    Like · Reply · 11 hrs · Edited
  • Wikolia Sgro-Konopka I don't think diamonds make a marriage. I hate diamonds actually. I think they are overrated. I rather save that money, and the money from a big wedding an out it towards a house. That's a responsible thing to do. True love needs no materialistic items!
    Unlike · Reply · 2 · 11 hrs
  • Debra Elliott I agree with you , dear Wikolia Sgro-Konopka , about what a waste of money a big wedding is... I like the justice of the peace and no guests, strictly personal, between the two of us, and very private, and intimate,...with no waiting around for the wedding night...after waiting to get married to be intimate, one should not have to wait any longer, once they are married, :<3 but from the looks of it, I guess weddings are pretty popular...smile emoticon...and it sounds like many don't wait to be married either...they put the cart before the horse...lol.. to each his own... I'm very conservative heart emoticon and it's lovely to talk with you about it , Thank you heart emoticon
    Like · Reply · 11 hrs · Edited
  • Wikolia Sgro-Konopka That's what kind of ceremony we had. Just him and I on the spur of the moment. It was amazing! And we are still like teenagers after 9 years
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · 11 hrs
  • Phoebe Sussler Pilj If there is no real love in his heart...the ring is just a thing and meaningless.
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · 9 hrs
  • Theresa Zwart-Ludeman Debra PS: now if you said an artist made this for one he loved.
    PRICELESS
    Unlike · Reply · 1 · 5 hrs
  • Debra Elliott Hi Phoebe Sussler Pilj that's a very good point heart emoticon
    Like · Reply · 3 hrs
  • Debra Elliott Hi Theresa Zwart-Ludeman, that's a beautiful way to look at it heart emoticon
    Like · Reply · 3 hrs
  • Debra Elliott Say, the guy loves and is in love, and he's not a world famous artist who actually makes a decent living with his art........ if he can't afford 2000. how is he going to afford 100,000 for a house, and 23,000 in Maternity bills ? We're not talking vacations on the Riviera, a summer home in Vermont, a winter cabin in Colorado...... We're just expecting the wife to be able to have their baby in a hospital, and have a modest, safe, place to live.heart emoticon And I'm not talking about people who have lived on welfare for generation after generation. I'm talking about average nice middle class people, with state college degrees, teaching school, managing a business... No matter how rich or poor, people fall in love. Many people struggle to get by. Many people won't have rings, or homes, or good jobs, but they are in love with life, and in love with each other, and they get by, they eat rice and peanut butter, and get clothes from church basements, and truly feel blessed and thankful to be alive and well heart emoticon Some woman lower their expectations from feeling alone, or being tired of waiting, and willingly support their spouse. And for some it never happens, or it happens and doesn't work out. heart emoticon To each their own. in the usa. Of course in other countries or other cultures, the values are different than this. I was approaching this from middle class America....because that is what I know...Many also pay for Temple, or Church, private school, 2 cars.........It used to be that by 12, boys nd girls stopped thinking of the others as icky, maybe even younger.... then girls started dreaming about their wedding day, and boys started thinking about sex, ... but know where, do we hear about boys and girls thinking about financial responsibility...smile emoticon I dreamed about having my own house with a fenced in yard, so I could have a pet. I got one for myself, the first chance I got smile emoticon
  • ........

    •  Your killing the romance.
      Unlike · Reply · 1 · 3 hrs
    • Theresa Zwart-Ludeman But perhaps procreation is not romance.
      Unlike · Reply · 1 · 3 hrs
    • Debra Elliott  Yes, Theresa Zwart-Ludeman, Everyone shares different feelings, and special feeling about romance heart emoticon As a past liason between social service agencies when I volunteered for peace corps vista, I see it from my own special perspective too. I met unwed mothers and unfed mothers, by the boatload heart emoticon at Soup Kitchens, and Single Mommy Centers. The fastest way to kill romance is to feel hungry, homeless, or late on rent, out of diapers and begging for some from te Single Mommy Center at a Church, 'cause your handsome romantic boyfriend or husband is out of work, keeping the sofa and TV warmed up for you...lol,   And he didn't have any money left after buying his case of beer 　 oh well , his needs come first 　 And if she really loves him, she will understand, right ?
    • ...... ..... ....And if these woman had any ring at all, it was a little diamond chip, the size of a grain of rice <3
  • And then I'd go home to visit with my friends, some newlywed, some new moms, and the ones with modest diamonds were the ones working the hardest, and doing the most work, to make their relationships thrive and survive . Those diamonds were like the tip of an iceberg. And then I'd go home to visit with my friends, some newlywed, some new moms, and the ones with modest diamonds were the ones working the hardest, and doing the most work, to make their relationships thrive and survive . Those diamonds were like the tip of an iceberg.
And some of my friends were doing great, but they were the exception to the rule, of the rice ring relationship <3
The guys that made an effort, right from the start, and didn't make excuses for themselves, were the ones still going strong :)

  Theresa Zwart-Ludeman, Phoebe Sussler Pilj, Wikolia Sgro-Konopka, and Neil Key, You have all made excellent points, A ring, or it's stone size, doesn't guarantee, lasting relationship, romance, provenance,financial perception, love, or staying in love. Some of the poorest couples have stayed together forever. Look at The Waltons, or Lttle House on the Prairie, yeah, they are TV shows but both were based on true stories. Little Woman by Louisa May Alcott was alsoa story, based on real lives...heart emoticon And there's that song our granny's, Aunties, or Moms might have sung to us, as little kids, '' Through all kinds of weather, What if the rain should fall? Just as long, as were, together.... It really doesn't matter at all heart emoticon '' So, we all agree that Stone size, is just a fallacy , no ? 
smile emoticon

Posted by at No comments:
Subscribe to: Comments (Atom)